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Self-Love: From Size 20 to Size Eight Dress

June 14, 2019



I learned to love myself. That is the first thing I say to people when they ask me how I went from a size 18/20 dress to a size eight dress.  However, there's more to my weight loss journey.

During the summer of 2014, John, my husband had a massive heart attack. I discovered him in our bedroom and frantically tried to save him by administering CPR, but it was too late...he was already gone. John was only 56 years old. How could this be? My soulmate of 25 years was no longer here with me. The agony I felt was like as if I was falling into a cold dark endless sinkhole. My heart still skips a beat as I do my best to carry on without him (tears).


Each passing day it gets a little better.




I made a promise to God, myself, and John that I would take better care of my health.  But first, I had to embrace the grieving process, or in other words, allow grief to flow and not suppress it. Truth be told, it is not something that goes away completely…grief comes and goes whenever and wherever it pleases. Having witnessed such a tragic loss, I had to remain prayerful while trusting that God would help me through this dark time of my life. To cope with the loss, I focused on myself — spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.  I realized that I needed to first love myself, as part of the healing process. 


The love affair I once had with unhealthy foods and large portions of food, diminished. 


You see, I had to learn how to prepare food for one person, instead of two, and sit at the dinner table, alone. The foods that I had previously cooked and ate with John are now triggers of grief…so I avoid those foods. My passion for cooking (and eating) comfort foods are no longer a priority and/or enjoyment.


Shortly after John’s passing, I temporarily lost my sense of smell and taste. Imagine that! For seven months, I couldn’t even smell fish, burnt popcorn or my favorite fragrances. My cravings, as a result, disappeared. I know God had something to do with it. I’m guessing it was his way of helping me not to crave junk food. He definitely has humor — although it wasn’t funny at the time.




"Believe you can and you're half way there."

~Theodore Roosevelt


Like you, I have also tried all kinds of weight loss programs, diet pills, fad diets, and infomercial exercise equipment — ending up with the same results of losing and regaining the same 10 to 20 pounds.  That in itself is enough to make one feel defeated, every time. But this time, failure wasn’t an option. I was determined to not only lose weight but also to maintain my ideal weight and the best way to do this was by making a decision to change my lifestyle — viewpoint on food, exercise, and weight loss.


There really isn’t an easy way to lose weight (but you already know this) however, it does take a lot of motivation, dedication, and consistency. Once you realize and accept this fact, then you can move to the next step…action.


Weight loss is like running a marathon — at a slow and steady pace.


In my next blog, I will share tips on how I went from a size 20 to a size eight dress.


Have you been successful in your weight loss journey? What challenges are you facing with losing weight? I’d like to hear from you…please share. ~Darla



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